magic tricks

I thought I loved the girl before you but damn was I wrong ...
I didn't know what love felt like until I felt your lips on mine
Until every moment was lost in space and time
I couldn't contcentrate because you always stayed on my mind ...
But I just played the fool once again
There was absolutely no way possible that I could win a heart and mind like that
Not with no tricks in my hat
"I need a new girlfriend" you said
That was like a bullet in the
HEART
Thought you were smart
But I caught you
I once had you
Now I've lost you ...
Let the mourning commence ...

Oh how time flies ...

It's been over a year since I've been here. Had so much going on I haven't taken the time out to really write much of anything. The last post I wrote was about an ex who's been an ex for over a year now ... since then I've accomplished a few things. Moved into my own place. Got a job working for a hospital as a CNA. Met a girl that makes my heart stutter something ridiculous. My kid and nieces and nephews are all a year older. Life moved on.

It's funny how when you go through a break up you feel like the entire world stops and the pain you feel is the worst pain ever and you will never fully heal from it all. But at the end of the day, you make it out okay.

I think I was so involved in that bad situation because I was so dedicated to that girl ... and she broke my heart like nobody had ever done before. I became lowkey obsessed for a minute and couldn't figure out why. But I figured it out eventually ... it was just such a new feeling. I didn't want to let it go. But you can't give love to someone who doesn't want your love. Period.

I found someone who does love me ... and she's amazing. She gives me hope. Even though at times I can't see anyone loving me forever ... if someone could love me forever, it'd be her. She compliments my being just by being ... she's my sunshine.

I'm ready to finish growing up ... I'll be 27 this year. Gotta get my ass back in school. Upgrade this raggedy CNA shit to RN shit and from there hopefully I'll be able to get on some doctor shit ... but for now I'm keeping my goals short-term.

I miss my friends. All of them. I miss my innocence. I miss feeling free. Life is good cuz I'm living but what I wouldn't give to rewind a few years and change a few things. But eh, it is what it is. *sigh* ... oh how time flies ...